Posts Tagged ‘New York City’

A Manhattan Christmas Story

December 21, 2016

rockefeller-tree

NOTE: Not long ago we received this memory from an unnamed Hell’s Kitchen writer, who assures us that his neighbors all pass him on the street every day… without ever seeing him.

When my kids were little, long before I became what I am now, which is a booze-hound, Christmas time was always something special. It still is special for me ‘cause they haven’t yet closed down all the soup kitchens. The City Fathers missed a couple of soup kitchens in their drive to improve the quality of life in this town by killing off everybody who doesn’t work three jobs and make a hundred grand a year just to pay the rent. So I can still look forward to a meal of turkey with trimmings in some church basement somewhere. Along with the food, the do-gooders give us bums little Christmas presents. It’s nice. Don’t you like getting presents? I do. Last year I got some Old Spice and a soap on a rope. It was green and shaped like a seahorse. I liked the way it smelled. But I accidentally left my soap hanging in the rooming house bathroom down the hall one day and that was the last I saw of it. I don’t know why, but when I found the soap was gone I cried like a baby for two hours. And I never cry. A stupid piece of cheap soap. Archie the bartender who took the pledge was right. Booze does turn your brain to mush.

It was Christmas time and I ran out of money again. A card game this time. Looking for free things to do, I thought it might be fun to see the tree at Rockefeller Center. I usually enjoy the colored lights and all the happy kids giggling and acting like, well, like happy kids. So yesterday, even though I had no money to speak of, I left my room and headed over there. In the daylight you could see that this was one hell of a big tree. Why’d they go kill it? I stood in the part of the plaza they call the Channel Gardens cause on one side is a British building and on the other side is a French building. I was looking at the tree when I noticed this woman with her son. The kid was about six, I guess, no more than seven, and the woman had him bundled all up like he was Neil Armstrong setting foot on the moon even though it wasn’t really so cold out. It couldn’t have been cold cause I was there and I don’t own a coat. That’s why I’m inside today, writing this. Today it’s freezing out. And I don’t own a coat. So this woman has her kid by the hand and says, “look, Lawrence, look at the nice tree. It’s beautiful isn’t it.” She wasn’t so much asking him as she was telling him. Surprisingly, the kid said “no.”

“But it is beautiful,” the mama said, giving the kid a little tap on the back of the head.

“It is not,” the boy insisted.

“Yes it is,” she said, giving him a harder tap.

“I don’t like it.”

“Yes you do!”

This time she gave the kid a clip on the head so hard that I could feel it. The boy wobbled a bit but held his ground.

“It isn’t beautiful! It stinks!”

“It is beautiful!” she says then CRACK! a tremendous shot across the back of the kid’s head. In my day, I seen prize fighters kiss the canvas on less.

“Isn’t mommy right? Isn’t the tree beautiful?”

When the boy didn’t answer, she lifted her hand again.

“It’s so beautiful, mommy,” he said like he really meant it.

“Don’t you just love it?”

“Yes mommy, I love it. I love it.”

“And do you love mommy?”

“Yes. I love mommy.”

She smiled and they went away, both of them happy. I’d hate to be around when this kid gets married. His wife cuddles up to him and coos, “do you love me?” and he says “I love you more than anything” then he proves it to her by belting her right in the sweetbreads. I only hope he finds somebody who’s into that kind of thing. There’s plenty of them out there.

I looked back at the tree, and so help me, now I didn’t think it was very beautiful. Then I cringed, almost feeling a swift hard smack on the back of my head. I turned around as fast as I could and went across the street and down the block to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I prayed for that kid.

Jimmy Armstrong, Saloon Keeper to the World

June 5, 2015

Jimmy 001 Yes, you Matt Scudder readers, there really was an Armstrong’s Saloon on 10th Avenue in New York City and – naturally – there was a Jimmy Armstrong. I could not find any pictures of Jim on the interwebs… so here is one of mine from December of 2000. Jim Died in 2002. And I must think of him every day. Every damn, lonely day. Last night, I made fried oysters, a dish I first had at Armstrong’s. Armstrong’s Saloon had a world-famous menu. He did everything with care and even aged his own steaks in the saloon. Chef Charles presided over the kitchen, but most of the recipes were Jim’s. From time to time he would pop into the kitchen himself and whip up something marvelous. Like his curried tartar sauce for the fried oysters. He showed me how to do it, and I made that last night too. So I have really been missing my old friend. Jim was a man of hearty appetites. Food and drink flowed for hours around him as he sat at the west end of the bar. Wish you were here, Jim. But in a way you are. That is all I can write.

Another Fake Media “Crisis”

January 27, 2015

So SUPER-STORM JUNO came and went with a fizzle. I knew this storm was another Ebola-style media “crisis” when I heard an NPR “reporter” gravely announce: “Some say we will get winds of 75mph.” 
The phrase SOME SAY means: “I just made this up.” And when I saw that BREITBART reported a huge, horrible storm, then I knew for sure there was nothing to feel concerned about. Government officials need to stop relying on TV and Internet “news” for their decisions. 
This shrill hysteria – hysteria that had desperate people crashing into supermarkets – was not erring on the side of caution. It was erring on the side of ratings. 
Orson Welles and his historic War of the Worlds broadcast showed that some people will believe anything that mass media puts out. 
Ever since then, they have whipped up one fake fear-crisis after another. In the last year, between the phony EBOLA panic and yesterday’s totally over-hyped SUPERSTORM JUNO, it seems clear that we need congressional hearings on these over-paid buffoons who claim to report news. And don’t get me started on WORST JOURNALIST Don Lemon tooling about the deserted streets of New York in his fatuous BlizzardMobile.
Oh well.  Now that every storm is an event and has to have a name, what comes next, a theme song?

With all this in mind, I present this post again:

Doing Something About The Weather

Well, not really about the weather, but about the weather forecast. Yesterday, here in NYC rain was predicted yet it never came. Today they said it would be warm, the temperature will not see 60°. Yes, they do get it wrong way too often. Surveys show them at best accurate 75% of the time. That is why they hedge their bets by saying “there’s a 50% chance of rain” meaning it will rain or it won’t. Thanks guys. It’s ALWAYS going to rain or not. As a Tarot reader if I had the dismal record of a TV/Radio weatherman, I would have no clients. And deservedly so. Just listen to my Tarot reading show (Rev. Eliot’s Magickal Window) at the ask1radio archive – or live at 11 Eastern Time on Wednesday nights – to see for yourself how accurate I am. I don’t need to trumpet my accuracy when it is there for people to hear. But why can’t weather predicting pros, with all their satellites and gazillions of dollars worth of equipment, not measure up to me, a plain, old fashioned Tarot reader? So here is my plan – and you can join me:

I am going to use occult means to predict the weather and compare it with the professionals. For a period of time I will use a pendulum to see if I may divine the weather. I found a weather-related pendulum chart on-line and I will print it out and use it. I will ask at night about the next day and then verify in the morning. And I will check during the day, keeping meticulous records. And then I will report back. Try it yourself and let me know what happens. Here is the chart (click on it to enlarge, then grab it):

chart_weather

Keep me posted! Let’s see who gets better results – Mr. Blow-Dry with his maps, or the simple Esoteric Pendulum. Maybe we can all get jobs in TV predicting the weather!

And remember to get your FREE copy of my latest newsletter by clicking on this image:

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And catch my weekly WEDNESDAY NIGHT Tarot Reading show on the ASK1RADIO Network! Hope you can tune in or catch the archive at this link.

 

What “Outbreak”?

October 24, 2014
This Dimwit Says Ebola Fever Is Obama's Fault. But I Heard Somebody MORE STUPID THAN HE IS!

This Dimwit Says Ebola Fever Is Obama’s Fault. But I Heard Somebody MORE STUPID THAN HE IS!

Well, last night I heard the single most incompetent “expert” talking on the radio about – yes – Ebola Fever.
First off, this twit “debunked” as false the notion that nobody is infected until they get a high fever and stomach pain. He wondered why people make this claim. “Viruses don’t work that way,” he said. He said it is nonsense. OF BLOODY COURSE IT IS NONSENSE! The dope confused CONTAGIOUS with INFECTED. And, yes… those who contract Ebola Fever are not – REPEAT NOT – contagious until they are so deep into the disease that they cannot get around let alone go bowling.

Then this bonehead said this “outbreak” will be like the 1918 flu epidemic which killed AND I QUOTE: “fifty-two hundred million people.” That is 5.2 BILLION people. Neat trick when the world population in 1917 was 1.85 billion (1,849,769,000 to be precise). And look: TWO PEOPLE getting a disease while tending a sick person is not an outbreak. That is it for now… ONLY TWO – 2 – AMERICANS CONTRACTED THIS DISEASE HERE. More Americans have married Elizabeth Taylor.
Do NOT pay any attention to the people who deliberately spread fear and/or who are FUCKING IDIOTS.

And though it may disappoint the more nervous among us, you may want to read THIS ARTICLE which explains why you will not get this disease…

Now: as to that alleged 70% death rate? FORGET IT. That is for a Third World nation ravaged by war without adequate food and water – with one doctor per 200,000 people. IN AMERICA and other “modern” nations – for a person with adequate hydration and diet the death rate of this disease is 20%.

Your parents or grandparents knew what an outbreak REALLY was. They faced polio every goddamn year, and smallpox and diptheria and waves of both influenza and pneumonia (before we had any antibiotics!) without shitting their pants like hysterical babies. So if they could deal with that, YOU can deal with a new disease that has so far hit only TWO Americans. Good grief, FLU will kill 45,000 Americans this year. Does that worry you? Did you even bother to get a flu shot?

Do NOT give in to fear and fear mongers. Using fear is nothing new. The TV “news” people use fear to boost their ratings and make more money. Fear is their stock-in-trade. And they spread it rich and thick like manner  in a Iowa cornfield. They scare you out of greed and in order to control you. Apparently, it works.
An excellent book was written about this back in 1919 – you know, back after 5.2 billion people died… Ha! The book has been reissued and I wrote the all-new foreword. I recommend it. Click the image to read about it.

Click Image To See This Book At AMAZON.COM

Click Image To See This Book At AMAZON.COM

LATE NEWS: One of only TWO people to contract Ebola Fever in the USA is just fine! Read about it HERE.
As I noted in above, in a modern culture not ravaged by war and pestilence, Ebola Fever has an 80% survival rate.
 
Dallas nurse Nina Pham is one of only TWO people to contract the disease in the USA yet people are scared to death. This is insanity in action.

Judge harshly ANYONE you know who fears Ebola Fever in the USA. People THAT easily frightened are easily manipulated and they are extremely dangerous.

How Do I Get Maureen Dowd’s Job?

August 21, 2013

maureen_dowd

How do I get Maureen Dowd’s job? It seems like a good gig with NO responsibility to tell the truth. Today she FABRICATED A QUOTATION and the NY TImes handled it with a mere footnote:
“An earlier version of this column incorrectly quoted a response by Chirlane McCray, the wife of Bill de Blasio to a question about Christine Quinn. The column has been updated to reflect the full response.”

Hmmmm. THE COLUMN “incorrectly” quoted a response?… The COLUMN did it? Not Dowd? See how removed that alleged correction is? It is like it just sorta, kinda happened… by itself.  Dowd lied, is what it should say. She lied about something a mayoral candidate’s spouse said. That led another candidate to denounce THE SPOUSE! Here is the candidate’s response to the lie about his wife:

STATEMENT FROM DE BLASIO CAMPAIGN MANAGER BILL HYERS

New Yorkers for de Blasio campaign manager Bill Hyers today released the following statement. Below is a transcript of Chirlane McCray’s comments, and a link to the audio.

“Chirlane McCray was misquoted. As the transcript makes clear, her actual comments were about Speaker Quinn’s unwillingness to listen to the people on education, and paid sick leave, and any suggestion otherwise is disingenuous and absurd. From the closure of St. Vincent’s to the delay of paid sick leave to term limits, Speaker Quinn owns a history of ignoring everyday New Yorkers. Speaker Quinn’s refusal to ask the wealthy to pay a little more on taxes to ensure universal pre-kindergarten for every four-year old — Bill de Blasio’s signature issue — is another example. It is wrong for Speaker Quinn and her campaign to distort and confuse with baseless attacks in order to distract from the Speaker’s indefensible policy record.”

Transcript of Chirlane McCray’s remarks:

MD: “What do you think the problem is with women voters, why hasn’t she been able to get that Hillary kind of thing going where whatever flaws are involved they’re excited to break that barrier?”

CM: “Well I am a woman, and she is not speaking to the issues I care about and I think a lot of women feel the same way.
“I don’t see her speaking to the concerns of women who have to take care of children at a young age or send them to school and after school, paid sick days, workplace, she is not speaking to any of those issues.

“What can I say? And she is not accessible, she is not the kind of person that I feel that you can go up and talk to and have a conversation with about those things, and I suspect that other women feel the same thing I’m feeling.”

Another Small Miracle From Minox

December 22, 2012
Tiny Minox Miracle

Tiny Minox Miracle

Folks, I am a born shutterbug. I love cameras and photography. In my youth I had a darkroom (ask grandpa what that is) and I worked in a NYC camera store in order to purchase supplies at a huge discount. All through the 70s I carried a Minox spy camera. Now…

Minox, the gold standard of spy cameras, has come of age by going retro. For generations, no spy movie was complete without that scene where the spy slams some documents onto a desk then shines a lamp on them before taking out his slim Minox camera – about the shape of a disposable lighter – and photographing them. That’s the classic Minox. So handy, with incredibly sharp lenses and a precision shutter, I know of journalists who still carry one. In fact, I still have the Minox that belonged to my parents as well as the special daylight developing tank.

Ray Milland in THE THIEF with MINOX

Ray Milland in THE THIEF with MINOX

But the Cold War is over and the digital age has arrived. With these modern times comes the Minox Digital Classic Camera DCC 5.1MP. This tiny miracle from Germany has features that earn it the right to be called Minox. It definitely lives up to the tradition of this fine camera maker. The viewfinder alone is an optical wonder.

Depending on the settings you select, you can shoot under virtually any light conditions – it even has a setting for night shooting. The lens can be focused from half a meter to infinity. It operates silently and even shoots video. I never go anywhere without carrying it. And that brings me to its only failing as a “spy camera”… it is NOT by any stretch of the imagination inconspicuous. Wherever I go with this camera hanging around our neck, people stop to ask me about it. Cab drivers, tourists, police, hotdog vendors – everyone asks about this retro-looking beauty. And when I tell them that it works as well as it looks, they usually say they will go out and get one. The price is around $150 and it comes in a gorgeous wooden presentation box. Optional retro-looking flash is also available though I have not needed it.

This is a wonderful camera! Hey, it’s a Minox. What more is there to say? Below is just one image I took with this beauty.

Deciding What To Bring Back Home

Deciding What To Bring Back Home

Mayor Hates Happy Hour!

May 17, 2012

When it suits his political purposes, New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg touts the small business as the backbone of our economy. He sings their praises. But how does Bloomberg treat small businesses? Like crap. He daily sends out squads of nitpicking bureaucrats to hit them with fines for the most arcane so-called violations. Every year our small businesses fork out hundreds of thousands in penalties for such infractions as having a vendor’s license in the pocket and not hanging around the neck (that’s a thousand bucks right there), or maybe an inspector noted a fly in a restaurant. Or a truck is making a delivery so it gets whacked with a fine for standing there. The list is endless. Bloomberg has already gone on record as saying the NYPD is his personal army. Clearly he feels that way about all the agencies which exist to SERVE THE PEOPLE.

Now ask this: How does Bloomberg treat BIG businesses? Every year he doles out hundreds of millions of dollars in corporate welfare to companies like Fresh Direct and others who say that without this baksheesh they would leave the City. It’s all a game Bloomberg plays on behalf of the super-wealthy at the expense of hardworking small business operators. With that mentality in mind, we note with little surprise that Mayor Bloomberg is again exploring ways to destroy New York City’s vibrant nightlife, which is nothing if not a collection of small businesses. Bloomberg failed some years ago to move the bars’ traditional 4:30 closing time up by several hours. Now MSNBC, among other outlets, reports that he wants to eliminate Happy Hours, wherein us working folk take some time to celebrate the end of the workday with a discounted libation or two. And of course, Happy Hour is a boon for all bars and restaurants, pulling millions into the economy and keeping these businesses healthy. When the crass mayor goes to a restaurant, reports show that he loudly orders the most expensive wine on the list, regardless of the food served. But should you are I want a reduced price shooter, nothing doing. That, friends, is real class-warfare.

Bloomberg is apparently intent on remaking the city to cure his own peculiar vices. The man pours salt on everything he eats, so he talks about banning salt from restaurant tables. He shovels bags of crappy snacks into his face during meetings, so he decides to ban hydrogenated oils (replacing them with the equally lethal Tropical oils). He is a reformed smoker, so he attacks smoking – soon to push a ban on all smoking in all apartment buildings, the privacy of your own home. Drinking holds an equally special place for Bloomberg. As has been reported in the media, Bloomberg is wont to drink so much wine with dinner that he blacks out (see NY Daily News, Saturday, February 26th, 2005). The man has a bizarre habit of seeing in others the very traits he considers repulsive in himself… So naturally Bloomberg, the man who drinks too much, wants to shut down our local bars, starting with his Happy Hour Ban. It won’t work any better than did Prohibition, which sent the nation on a 13 year drinking binge. But like all Out-of-Town reformers, he will try. Why he is doing this, well we leave that to the psychiatrists he so clearly needs.

Listen: Over the last 11 years as mayor, Bloomberg has evinced the greatest disdain for The People since Marie Antoinette. We need to show him that in spite of his power-hungry presumptions, Bloomberg is not the Queen of New York City. When the elections come around next year, he will either try to run again – he already used his billions to flout the Term-Limit laws last election – or he will stand aside and run a puppet like Raymond Kelly or Christine Quinn. He is already playing these two against each other in the media to make them fall in line with his grandiose schemes. What’s the answer? Oust the little sonovabitch! Do not let him or one of his flunkies get into office or the city will be no better than a small town north of Peoria. Is that what you want? It’s what Bloomberg wants. Mull that over the next time you reach across the bar for a bit of liquid refreshment after work.

All we want is to send Bloomberg back to Baltimore after the next election… Let New York City be New York City.

Of course, the picture above is presented in the spirit of fun. There are MANY profound differences between Michael Bloomberg and the late Carrie Nation. For instance, Ms. Nation was 6 feet tall…

Putney Swope, Revisited – Sort Of

June 27, 2011

This may seem a tad late, but I finally got to see the 1969 movie Putney Swope by Robert Downey (no, not that one. His father.) I did see it about a year after it first came out, but I didn’t really see it. It was like this: everyone I knew said Eliot, you have GOT to see Putney Swope. It is exactly the kind of movie you would like. So I hightailed it uptown to the Thalia, that venerable revival house on upper Broadway, and caught a showing. I do not recall what the second feature was that afternoon, but what did that matter? I wanted to see the film that was exactly the kind of movie that I would like. So I settled into one of the many empty seats and waited. I don’t know if it is still like this in the renovated and snazzy Leonard Nimoy Thalia, but back then in an apparent fit of pique the designer had arranged the seats so that they sloped UP toward the screen, not the other way around like everyplace else on the planet. I always wondered about that when I attended the Thalia… My reverie was cut short as the film began. Putney Swope. Exactly the kind of film I would like. It may come as no surprise that I was unable to concentrate on the film. As it unspooled, my mind kept repeating What DO these people think of me?? What DO these people think of me?? So I never did get to see the thing until yesterday, well into the 21st Century. What did they think of me, anyway?

9/11/01 Looking Back

September 11, 2010

 

Lawdsy, Bush Lubs Dem Sawdis...

I thought that today, as the Saudi owned  FOX “news” Channel seeks to whip up a frenzy against Islam in America, we should look at the salient points of the attacks which took place on 9/11/01

The attack was political, not religious.

This is the main point. The attackers wanted several things to be accomplished. They all happened. Bush gave them everything they wanted.

1) They wanted US Troops out of Saudi Arabia. Bush did that. He did it quietly, but he did it. So much for standing up to terrorism…

2) They wanted Saddam Hussein deposed and his secular government removed. Less quietly, Bush did that too, killing hundreds of thousands of innocent peo0ple and replacing the only non-theocracy in the area with The Islamic Republic of Iraq. Good job, there Bandar Bush…

3) They wanted the American economy to be in ruins. Well, you know what Bush did there. He came in with a surplus and a smaller federal government. Left with an ocean of red ink and a bloated government.

4) They wanted Muslims to hate America. After the attacks, the Muslim world showed great solidarity with America. Rallies supporting America took place all over the Islamic nations, including a big rally in Iran. Bush, with his incendiary babble about “crusades” and his bombarding of civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan turned that all around.

Bush gave the terrorists EVERYTHING THEY WANTED. Ponder that as we begin the orgy of self-pity called 9/11: Countdown to 10 Years.

Out of Africa. I mean it. OUT! Now!

June 17, 2010

 Zimbabwe. They are writing a new constitution. This has the powerful xian media in a tizzy. They are afraid that the constitution will a) Make Zimbabwe a Muslim Nation with B) Legalized abortion (on demand of course. Always mention demanding women) and the concomitant Islamic C) Legalized homosexuality. The American Center for Law and Justice, a litigious jesus-freak front organization, is horribly worried about this and about – gasp!- a Mosque to be built in NYC. Oh, the horror. Well, as their god said, “Hey, I can see my house from up here!” No! he didn’t say that. Here’s what he said about abortion and homosexuality: ” ”
Nothing. The sick fucks hate it when African Nations show a little independence. Note to Europeans and their descendants: LEAVE MOTHER AFRICA ALONE! Try it for a century or so to see what happens.