God Is NOT Your Friend…

Because I have been hearing a lot of this lately – and it will only intensify as the national hysteria over the presidential election grows – I am compelled to make the following statement: YOU DO NOT HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. Period. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded and should seek treatment. You can have a personal relationship with your greengrocer. With your dentist. With your spouse, best friend, enemies, high school guidance counselor (though I don’t know why you would want one). You can have a personal relationship. Albeit one-sided, with your dog or cat. But with God? No damn way. God is indefinable. God is a concept which the human mind simply cannot grasp. The minute you start to define God, you LIMIT God and that is BLASPHEMY. How can you possibly have a personal relationship with something you are unable to comprehend? It’s like having a personal relationship with a quark, only less likely. So forget all that self-satisfied ego-inflating crap about you and God being chums. You are wrong. 100%, totally, completely wrong. You cannot know God. Hell, even the name of God is ineffable. So what will you call this thing you claim to have a personal relationship with? Chip? Is that a good name? Look: Picture God. Imagine what God is. Think of God listening to your puny prayers wherein you demand that God suspend the laws of the universe for your convenience. Got a mental picture? That’s NOT God! You are not able to imagine God. It is way above your pay-grade. God is incomprehensible to the human mind. If you maintain otherwise, you are a) lying to make yourself seem important, b) lying to make yourself seem right, c) out of your mind. To describe God is to define God and that, as I said before, is blasphemy. Get over it. Be happy just to have the God given gift of life. Don’t make God your swimming pool buddy at summer camp. You have no idea what God is. Not in the least. You cannot possibly. Got it?

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