One HELL Of An Offer!

Greetings. In my prior post I wrote about Heaven and Hell and all that stuff, with an eye towards the New York Times. I mentioned the Times because they had just run a piece about the Roman Catholic church reviving the practice of “selling” indulgences to wipe out sins. I put selling in quotation marks because while the do say that the indulgence can be granted

Click Here For My Website
Click Here For My Website

 (never purchased!) for doing acts of charity; acts of charity deemed acceptable include giving money to ahem worthy causes. I am not implying that the Pope of The Roman Catholics would stoop to hinting at a gratuity, as though he were some sort of eternal Franklin Pangborn, frock-coat, winged-collar, black bow-tie and striped pants with palm out slightly by his waist, feigning a slight cough till you get the message.  Oh, my my, heavens no. But passing the hat, I mean passing the basket,  does come into play where RC rituals are concerned.

 

Well the point was that I, as a nondenominational minister and priest, have been selling Genuine Holy Indulgences for years. But my Genuine Holy Indulgences come without the usual RC guilt trip. You need not kneel down in a shadowy box and talk to a stranger – and you don’t have to go to confession either. That’s a little ecumenical humor there, folks.  I sell my Genuine Holy Indulgences for a mere dollar a sin – unless the penitent wants to pay nothing at all.  Yup. When the RC church banned indulgences, I sold ’em at a buck a pop. Now that the RC’s are back in the business of selling their genuine indulgences, I’m offering MY Genuine Holy Indulgences FREE. I know the RC Church is hurting financially – all those lawsuits they’ve been losing must be a huge pain in the ass, no pun intended – but I’ve been working this side of the street for quite some time now. Holy Indulgences are my beat, get it Mr. Pope?  So go find money some other way.  Rev. Camarena’s stepping up the competition.  And I won’t go you just one better – no siree. I have something bigger, bolder and more remunerative up my sleeve. I shall be announcing it here and on my website in the very near future. Wait and see what I have coming. Here’s a hint:

Coming Soon!
Coming Soon!

I’ll be sure to keep everybody updated.

End of Sermon.

Next Post: My “Epistle To Timothy”

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