Put God Back In Your Nose!

Now that we have survived the latest round in the annual War on Christmas, where vicious atheists try their damnedest to take God out of the Yuletide season, it is about time that we look at the most ignored secular attack on religion ever. By that I mean none other than the year ’round War On Sneezing.  Remember years ago – before the atheists took God Almighty out of the schools – what happened if you sneezed? Sure you do. A whole raft of people would turn your way and, with a serene (dare I say Saintly?) gleam in their eyes say to you, “God bless you.” Ah, the warmth of having total strangers of all races, creeds, colors and income levels express the desire that you – ragamuffin that you were – receive the Blessings of your Lord. And then along came the notorious Murray v. Curlett which took God – forcibly, kicking and screaming, I might add – out of our nation’s schools. What a tragic day! Forget “slippery slopes,” everything went to hell immediately. It is no mere coincidence that at this same period i history the secular Gesundheit came out from the godless handkerchief. And did you note the hint of Foreign Influence? From Gesundheit it was but a short slide to the equally alien Salud . The secularization of the sneeze reached its apotheosis with the sly “bless you,” which used the cover of casual informality to really take the God out of “God bless you” while seeming not to. What’s next? Politicians ending their speeches by saying simply “Bless America” without invoking the Deity? Or worse, they may go all out and conclude their speeches with “May Gesundheit America”!

This is where I – and by extension all – religious people draw the line. Put God back in our noses! We never should have removed Him (yes, I said “Him”!) from our noses in the first place. God Himself created the sneeze – it’s right there in the Holy Bible, if you care to look – so God deserves to get put back into the sneeze! Isn’t it the least we can do? People have been saying “God bless you” to each other since the pollen first came out in the Garden of Eden (that’s in the book too, you know). And don’t you think “God bless you” must have been spoken more than any other phrase during the 40 days and nights aboard Noah’s Ark? Ok, I admit it was said more than any phrase except, “Oh, grosseth, daddy! Look what I hath stepethed in.” But It was a close second.

So let 2009 be the year we clean house. And when all the dust is whipped up and people let rip with an uninhibited blast from their proboscises don’t give in to secularism. Say  – nay! Proclaimeth – “God bless you!” for one and all to hear! And start signing people up to fight the removal of God from our beezers! Join my organization, “Secularism’s Not Our Thing™” to give the Almighty Creator credit where credit is due.  Tell people that you love God enough to shove him right back up your nose! Ask them to do the same. But with their own noses, not yours.

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