Take My $1,000,000.00 Challenge!

Which one of you readers out there will win my $1,000,000.00 Challenge?

In keeping with the rigorous scientific standards set by The Amazing Randi (nee James Zwinge) and his Challenge to pay $1,000,000 to the person PROVING THEY HAVE PARANORMAL ABILITIES, I, Rev. E. M. Camarena, DD, PhD, do make the following statements of fact:

1.     I can make an energy wheel turn in response to my thoughts.

2.     I can split a tarot deck into 3 or even 4 piles and always select the pile containing my significator or that of the person for whom I do a reading.

3.     I can bend a spoon with my mind.

4.     I can bend a 25 cent piece (“Quarter”) with my mind.

With the announcement of these facts, I hereby offer the princely sum of $1,000,000 cash to any person who can prove – scientifically and to my complete satisfaction – that I cannot do the things enumerated above.

To substantiate the accuracy, genuineness, authenticity and validity of my offer, I will now show you the money:

See? One million, cash on the barrelhead just like I promised. Now you know that I mean exactly what I say. No screwing around with Old Rev. Eliot! And unlike Zwinge, under no circumstances will I accept cash or credit card contributions. I prefer money orders…

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2 Responses to “Take My $1,000,000.00 Challenge!”

  1. Will Shirley Says:

    Eliot, I can control the weather, does that count as magick? I taught my daughter, it’s handy for not getting wet on a rainy day. I used to move energy wheels and such but you can’t really move them very far, ya know? No sailing around the room or anything. Of course lately it’s been primarily communication from the great beyond. ie dead guys talking to me. Usually they’re pissed because they’re dead, then we chat and I explain a few things to them, then they’re all cool with it. But do they ever give me a winning lottery ticket? Hell no! Dead guys never give a rats behind about my struggling family. Hardly worth the effort contacting their loved ones with private messages.

    • Rev. E.M. Camarena Says:

      Alas, you will never be able to take the Amazing Randi Challenge. Almost nobody qualifies. If you say you can control the weather they will deem you nuts. And, get this, you cannot take his challenge unless you are FAMOUS! It is in the fine print…

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